Friday, April 6, 2007

Good Friday, Janelle style.

Ok, so I realize that I'm an asshole and that I haven't posted in a REAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLY long time and that no one probably even checks out my blog anymore (which I deserve) but I have been insanely busy, and when I'm not busy, I like to get in 4 hours of sleep. That being said, I would like to share my morning with everyone.

So, I have had a migraine for the last 2 days. Last night was spent lying on my couch in agony, getting up for frequent vomit attacks, and covering my head and neck with ice packs. Fun fun fun. I finally fell asleep at about midnight, and I awoke this morning with a slightly less intense headache and figured that I probably needed a coffee.

8am: I saunter out of my house and to my car wearing a sweatshirt and my painting jeans.
8:15: Roll up to the Starbucks drive through and order my Triple Grande Soy Sugarfree Vanilla Caramel Macchiato. This was fun and delicious.
8:45: Pull into my parking lot and see a slightly cracked-out female wandering around with a bottle of body spray. Realize that I can smell the spray as soon as I step out of my vehicle.
-girl asks to use my phone.
-girl calls numerous numbers and no on answers.
-after 10 minutes of this I decide that I'm tired of waiting and so I offer her a ride.
8:55: Me and the girl get into my car and I suffocate with the smell of the body spray. She sprays more in an obvious attempt to kill me.
9:10: Drop the girl off at her destination - The York Hotel (known to be frequented by the drug addicts, prostitutes and johns of this fine city).
-girl asks me for $5.
-I claim that I have no cash, seeing as I'm not exactly a bank machine.
9:30: Arrive home safe and sound, although somewhat nauseated from the smell of the body spray.


It is now 11am, and I'm still pondering the fact that I picked up a prostitute this morning. Why on earth are people in my neighbourhood sleeping with prostitutes? Why am I not getting any action at all? What has this world come to?