Good Friday, Janelle style.

Ok, so I realize that I'm an asshole and that I haven't posted in a REAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLY long time and that no one probably even checks out my blog anymore (which I deserve) but I have been insanely busy, and when I'm not busy, I like to get in 4 hours of sleep. That being said, I would like to share my morning with everyone.

So, I have had a migraine for the last 2 days. Last night was spent lying on my couch in agony, getting up for frequent vomit attacks, and covering my head and neck with ice packs. Fun fun fun. I finally fell asleep at about midnight, and I awoke this morning with a slightly less intense headache and figured that I probably needed a coffee.

8am: I saunter out of my house and to my car wearing a sweatshirt and my painting jeans.
8:15: Roll up to the Starbucks drive through and order my Triple Grande Soy Sugarfree Vanilla Caramel Macchiato. This was fun and delicious.
8:45: Pull into my parking lot and see a slightly cracked-out female wandering around with a bottle of body spray. Realize that I can smell the spray as soon as I step out of my vehicle.
-girl asks to use my phone.
-girl calls numerous numbers and no on answers.
-after 10 minutes of this I decide that I'm tired of waiting and so I offer her a ride.
8:55: Me and the girl get into my car and I suffocate with the smell of the body spray. She sprays more in an obvious attempt to kill me.
9:10: Drop the girl off at her destination - The York Hotel (known to be frequented by the drug addicts, prostitutes and johns of this fine city).
-girl asks me for $5.
-I claim that I have no cash, seeing as I'm not exactly a bank machine.
9:30: Arrive home safe and sound, although somewhat nauseated from the smell of the body spray.


It is now 11am, and I'm still pondering the fact that I picked up a prostitute this morning. Why on earth are people in my neighbourhood sleeping with prostitutes? Why am I not getting any action at all? What has this world come to?

No one likes a quitter...

"I ain't no quitter"...those are the great words of the infamous Shania Twain. Sadly, they do not apply to me. I am a quitter, but a quitter of the best kind. The kind of quitter who says "NO" to cancer sticks, and YES to knitting. That's right folks, Janelle is now a knitter. A knitter who is trying to curb the repulsive nicotine addiction that has plaqued her for 6 years.

Seen here is a photo of my very first piece of knitwork. Impressive isn't it? I especially like the way it's missing a few stitches, and how it bulges out on one side. Aah...I don't care how shitty it is, it's mine and I am going to keep it as a reminder of what a fucking quitter I am.

In other news, I have also taken up the annoying habit of putting shirts on my kittens. They absolutely hate it, and it's hilarious to watch them run around and drag themselves over the carpet in an effort to remove the hideous shirts. Mr. Tanaka didn't seem to hate his as much as Gizmo did...but I'm pretty sure that's because her's was camo, and her and I share a hate for the disgusting print. I thought maybe because it was pink she would give it a chance, but apparently that is asking too much of her. She was out of it in no time, and her back hair was sticking up about 5 feet (that is just an estimate).

Here they are sitting together, oh so nicely. They are doing their best to avoid eye contact with me at this point, which is why neither one is looking at anything in particular, especially the camera. Gosh I'm an asshole.

LOOK AT THE EYELASHES!! I found these the other day and now I'm in love...probably can only wear them on weekends at night, because otherwise I'll look like a drag queen...but still, they are f'ing hot. Ok, I'm going to eat oranges now and knit you all some sweaters.

They say misery loves company...but what about happiness?

This is me...looking quite EMO with my EMOBOY haircut and scowling face. I really probably had nothing to be so bitchy about, because as you can see, my shirt matches my kitchen walls, and that in itself it something to be extremely giddy about. Unfortunatly though, I am a human being with a Uterus, and therefore sometimes I get these things called 'feelings' that really mess everything up. I get sad and grumpy and bitchy and just far too emotional as far as I'm concerned.

At this particular moment, I am feeling a little anxious...after a conversation with Nicole and Chris about my quitting the Cancer sticks, I have decided on a definite date...February the 14th...also known as Single Awareness Day. I chose this day because I already hate it, so I will already be miserable and therefore quitting on that day won't ruin any good feelings I may have had.

The thing about quitting smoking, is that people who don't smoke don't understand how frightening it actually is. I realize it is a smelly, expensive, unhealthy, disgusting habit, but it's something I do quite a few times a day...everyday (like masterbating for Jeff)*sorry...I'm just so happy that you are back!!* But seriously, when I get up, I have a smoke...when I get in the car, I have a smoke...when I drop of a client, when I am on my way to pick one up, after coffee, on a coffee break, when I'm stressed, when I'm happy, when I'm bored, when I'm tired...and numerous other times throughout the day. It sucks, and I wish I'd never started to begin with (anyone who knows the story of why I started knows that it's rediculous and I needed a better brain at 18) but since I did, I have to do something about it.

So here's to one week left of a 6 year love/hate relationship...and hopefully enough money saved up after a year to go on a nice little vacation.

Aahhhh...but it looks cool, right?

Oh Spring, come quickly!

Good afternoon lovely readers! I just looked at my thermometer, which had a fantabulous (if slightly incorrect) reading: +35 C. I shrieked with pleasure and ran outside, only to find out that it's more like +5 with some serious sunshine. Either way, it beats - anything, and it made me think of spring and all the beautiful things that come with it.

Ok, so maybe Tiger Lilies are more of a mid-late summer kinda flower, but they are my favorite and therefore I think they should symbolize Spring. Spring just happens to be my favorite season. It's all about renewal, and it's the end of the horror of Winter. I'm just not a fan of Winter. In Spring, animals have all sorts of babies, the snow goes back to Hell (where it actually comes from), plants start to wake up from their Winter sleep, trees get their leaves back, and life is just generally most beautiful. I think it would make more sense to make resolutions in Spring, rather than at New Years. Sure January 1st is the beginning of a calendar year, but Spring is the real beginning of a year. Ok...I just realized that my love of Spring might seem a bit intense...let's move along.

Now, on to the bitching. So uhh, Valentine's Day is coming...or as I like to call it: Single Awareness Day. It's truly the only day of the year when I feel like a complete failure because I haven't found someone with whom I'd like to spend copious amounts of my precious time. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't such a HUGE deal. People who say that it doesn't mean that much to them are most likely not single. If they are single, they are most likely lying. I realize it's just a huge Hallmark holiday, and it generates a gigantic amount of cash for companies who like to make people think that their love for another person can be measured by the size of the gift and the sappiness of the card, but dammit, I want a giant card and the pink singing Hippo too!! *Le sigh* I can't wait until the 15th of February.

73 hour work weeks are kinda tiring

There I am...last weekend...before I spent 40 hours with the mentally ill and 33 hours with those who really just want a cup of delicious Starbucks coffee. Please note the clear skin, sparking eyes and styled hair. I no longer look like the same person. I just took an "after" shot, but I can't bring myself to upload it and post it on the internet for everyone to see. It's just that bad. I have no motivation to put on makeup, let alone blowdry my hair, and I have what appear to be bags under my eyes. I also have a crush on a very flamboyantly gay co-worker. Ok, so that's not necessarily true...I just adore him. Perhaps in my new exhausted stated I have become a bit confused about my sexuality, and that of others.

Starbucks is amazing though...really. I love going to work there. Everyone is swell and we have a great time and laugh a lot and I drink tons of coffee for free. That's just how I roll.

Mental Health is going really well too. I'm making a lot of progress with some of my clients, and I have my 6 month review next Friday ( I still can't believe I've been working there for that long...it seems like a month, tops).

The only problem is, I have no time to relax. My only day off is Saturday (which would be today) and it is spent doing laundry, cleaning the house, playing with my kittens and hanging out with friends who feel neglected due to my work schedule. I was invited to go out tonight with one of the other outreach workers and her friends, but I don't think I have the energy to even think about it. I think this would be an excellent night to rent a chick flick, lie on the couch drinking tea and not moving until I drag my ass upstairs to bed. But anyone who knows me will realize that I just might go out anyways, and regret it tomorrow when I have to get up and go to work.

Would you like a carmel apple bar with that?

Ok...so I realize I've been quite lame with my blogging...and I'd apologize, but really, I am not that sorry. I have done a few things with my life (you know, to improve it and shit like that) and so I've been a very busy girl. Let me take you on a journey through my new and improved life...

So uhh, I got a second job. I decided that I could no longer bitch and complain about how much I hated Grande Prairie, and I needed to do something to make it easier to live here. I figured making some friends would be a great start. I drove around and went to a ton of places that I figured I wouldn't mind working, and I evaluated their staff on a scale from 1-10...1 being lame and shitty, 10 being exceptional. After going to about 100 places, all rated -3, I decided I needed a Venti Carmel Americano with soy, so I drove myself through the Starbucks drive through. Low and behold, the girls behind the window were laughing and friendly and adorable, so I asked "do you like working here? are you hiring?" and they said "YES!" and "YES! Here, fill out this application!! COME IN RIGHT NOW!" and so I went in, had an interview, got the job and *badabababa I'm lovin' it*.

I have made friends, I have made some drinks, I have made messes, I have made an ass out of myself...and best of all, I'm actually really happy. I love goin' to work there. We just laugh and customers are so happy and I am happy and so everyone is happy.

So yeah, sorry about my lack of blogging, but I'm just making it so that I don't have to bitch and complain all the time! You should be HAPPY!! *did I mention that I am happy?* OOH, and I got invited to go out with all the girls on Friday night! And next Friday night too!!

Love and carmel apple bars,
Janelle

After 6 cups of coffee, this is what you get!

Oooh boy! So uhh, yesterday was pretty much one of the worst days I've had since I started my job as an Assertive Outreach Worker. I guess it was only a matter of time before one of my clients had a psychotic episode with me, I just had hoped it would never happen. Needless to say, after being yelled at and accused of all sorts of horrible things, I had to have a little cry. This was at 8:30 in the morning. I then spent the rest of my day in meetings with my boss, trying to convince people to leave their homes, and dealing with EVERYONE else's case load ( I was the only worker on yesterday). By the time I got home from work, I was mentally and physically exhausted. Considering I'd had only 5 hours of sleep the night before, I didn't think there was anything wrong with having a hot bath and climbing into bed at 6pm.

I fell asleep almost immediately, and awoke only when Mr.Tanaka decided to claw at my head like it was a scratching post. I then got up, put the cats in their room, took 2 sleeping pills and rekindled my love of blogging by signing up for this here blog. *And for that I'm sure you're all grateful* After getting my blog on, I crawled back into bed and slept until my alarm went off at 6:15 this morning. Then I got up, did some Belly Dancing, got ready for work, and started this fantabulous day!!
Let me give you a little run down on my work day:
9am-Breakfast with my old guys
10am-Pick up a client for a meeting at the office
10:15-11am-Piss around the office drinking copious amounts of coffee and giggling with admin staff and therapists
11:15am-Drop client off at home
11:20am-12:35pm-Piss around at home until I pick up my next client
12:45-1:45pm-Listen to a client babble on and on about things I neither a) care about or b) understand
2-4pm-Play pool with clients!!

Yeah...so that's my work day. It beats yesterday by a long shot.

Tomorrow after work I will drive to Peace River and hang out with Nicole and Chris and probably drink some wine. Then we will sleep, and then we will snowboard in the afternoon. I may or may not break a limb.

Oh, so I can't access my blog anymore? Great!

The Truffle Shuffle is required for all good first blogs!


So uhh...Beta was apparently a big ole' piece of shit (which I could have, and did tell you from the beginning) and so the good folks at Blogger have decided to ditch it. Well, you know, it would have been REALLY nice if they'd ditched it in the first place. Then maybe I wouldn't have lost access to the BEST blog in the world (or at least the best blog that I had...up until this point).





So many things have been happening...Christmas was swell (even if I did have to spend it in Kamloops) and on New Years I kissed a midget.





I woke up from my evening slumber to write this beautiful piece of work, and I hope you all can find it in your hearts to love my new blog. I love all of you!! *it will be so harsh if no one reads this at all*